Dilemma? = (

I miss writing on my blog. It's been a long time since I last updated my blog. I was going to update my blog on my first day of school of 2015 but it didn't happen because I was soooo busy! I have to do my homework and do my duty as the chairman (pengerusi) of my school library. And of course this year I have a very important exam that is SPM. I hope that I will get a good result and get a scholarship. 

Last year, I was appointed as the chairman of the library based on the majority vote done by all the librarians. Actually, I expected that this was going to happen. I always thought that the teacher wanted someone else to be the leader. That was my problem until now. I always think of the small matters that only bothers me, I also didn't know whether it was true or not. My father gave me an advice not to think or take seriously about what others talk about me, 'I am the president so I don't give a damn about what other people talk about me'. I hope that I am like that and didn't bother about everything else and just do my work. 

My wish is to bring the library to a whole new level with new system that I create so that my batch always get praised by our juniors. When I am doing something, I set a high goal and make sure to reach that goal. I want to be a perfect leader to the librarians and show to my juniors how we do our work and hoping that they will also follow our steps. Among my friends who are the committee members of the library, I am most uncomfortable with my secretary, he does his work perfectly and he is one of the excellent student that I admire, he didn't even need tuition and yet he scores in exam. That's what I lack but I always think that everyone has their own potential. Whenever I make a decision, I decide based on their decision too. My secretary scolded me that I took four hours to reply his message. I replied him back saying that my phone doesn't have internet connection and how was I supposed to reply his message. Furthermore, my family always travel and like I said my phone doesn't have internet connection and all they can do is to give me SMS. Because of that I felt guilty until now and I always think what other way can I be a good leader to them. This is what I think "How can a leader teach others yet the leader ownself makes mistake". Please don't condemn me, this is how I naturally think.

The most important thing is that everyone knows that I seldom smile and I am an antisocial person. I am trying to overcome that and become more brave in facing people. I believe that people succeed is because they are brave. I am going to hold on to that.

By the way, I am going to post more after this since I am alone at home. My sisters were all gone to boarding school, a better school. I always long for them. That is why I'm going to write more.