Luahan hati. (To be deleted)
I just went through a very heartbreaking moment, the most disappointed phase in my whole life.
On the 15th of July 2019, I received my ACCA result through my email. It was the day when I was with my father and a friend of mine, we were going to our campus to settle our stay at this one college. I will tell you more about it on my next post. So we were in a car, the email was received at 7.12 am. I was nervous, my hand was trembling. I opened it.
I looked at it for a long time. After looking at it, I looked at my father who was driving at the time. I was having a thought that I had disappointed him. It is true, I disappointed him. I passed a paper and failed another paper. It was heart wrenching. I know it will saddened my father's feeling. I told him my result. He replied it with a sigh. I was ready for a scolding. I did not cried the moment I know my result. My father did not scold me nor nagging me. I do not want to cry as I look so pathetic but after a long time in silence, I cried in front of him. He looks surprised.
I cried on my own words. I said that even though I was praying so hard to God, I still could not achieve what I want. And I continued, this sadness, this test was given to me because I sinned so much towards God. I deserved this. Later, I prayed to God, may all this sadness will erase my sins toward Him. I can be positive in that situation because I believe God will give me a better and more valuable gift to me later.
I learned so much things. I learned that I should not take things for granted. My lecturer did her best to make sure I pass the paper but I was lazy to even listen to her. Second, study early and consistent, do not do last minute study. It doesn't help you in a long term. Always revise your study and catch up fast, then you will feel the competitiveness between your friends, to feel that you have to be better and work harder than everyone else. Thirdly, be diligent and committed to your study. This is very important for ACCA students. The syllabus is too much. I have to do revision not once but thousands time to excel the subject.
My parent have been so supportive and encouraging towards me. They did not scold me. They console me the best they can. They really understand me. They knew this was the biggest failure I've ever face. I excel in my studies when I was in my school and diploma but not as excellent as my youngest sister, she is a genius. My parent knew that, they hugged and kissed me. I want them to know that I regret for my disobedience and laziness in my studies and I will work more harder than before. I will compensate my fail paper with a more higher marks.
My friends went through the same thing. I told them what my parent said to me. Luckily, they stand up quickly and move on fast. They also realize the importance of being positive minded. I pray to God to ease my study this semester and let me pass my papers with flying colours. Aamiinn.
